Who am I? Aka: Who we were
by Screaming To Whisper
Summary: Buffy goes off to LA to see Angel, but things are just a bit different. Willow still grieving her loss of Oz, is led down quite a few not so great paths, as predicted by an unknown. What is really going on? and how did things get this way in the first


**Title: Who we were**  
  
**Summary: Buffy goes off to LA to see Angel, but things are just a bit different. Willow still grieving her loss of Oz, is led down quite a few not so great paths, as predicted by an unknown. What is really going on? and how did things get this way in the first place? (I suck at summaries...PLEASE read?)  
**  
**Authors note:** Hey everyone. This is my second starting of a fanfic that I've actually managed to type up. Everything else gets to stay locked in my brain...and...well I guess stay there. I should hopefully write more now, as inspiration can popping back to me finally....  
  
_Title subject to change. I've also posted this in the Angel category, I just have no idea which to put it in. Just as much Buffy as Angel...or...it will be...  
_  
They wouldn't let me do the stars thing, so the beginning of new...thoughts? Or where it might be a different part of day. Any sort of time lapse, the first sentence is in bold. Also, I know there are some continuity issues, like how she's grieving Oz's departure, yet still is able to talk with Cordy in Sunnydale. Oz left mid-season 4, Cordy left after season 3. There's a few things I've ran into like this, which is why it gets to be slight AU. (Yeah..I ramble...it's a problem..)  
  
Well here's the first chapter, quite a bit longer than how I used to write...and...hopefully...I'm back! PLEASE PLEASE read and review, it'd totally make my day! I'll love ya forever!!! lol :D :D Hugs Thanks guys, and enjoy.  
  
**WHO WE WERE**  
  
**Willow sat up drowsily, her thoughts still a blur, wondering what had woken her up**. The phone rang again,   
answering her questions, and creating new ones. Who would be calling at 5 in the morning? Rolling   
out of bed she dragged her feet over to the phone picking it up trying to stay awake long enough to talk to   
whoever was on the other line.   
  
"Umm..Hello?" She half-asked, still not sure who it was.  
  
"Hey Will.." The voice on the receiver answered. "Sorry to bother you so late. Or umm...early? I just wanted to tell you I'm in LA. Angel called last night..and..uh..We just..I had..I had to come..." Buffy waited for a few seconds for an answer, getting none. "Umm...Willow? You okay over there?"  
  
She jumped a bit, getting shaken out of her half awake/half asleep state, fighting to stay on the awake side.   
"Ohhh...umm...yeah..sure...okay...buy some brownies for the po--Buffy?" Finally awake enough to identify   
her friends voice, she sat on the edge of the bed, searching her mind for what Buffy had said. "LA? Your in LA?"   
  
Buffy nodded, even though Will couldn't see. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you all before I left, it was just..a sud--"  
  
"Oh no that's fine..thanks for calling me..I..uhh...do you want me to tell the others?" She interrupted, having already finished Buffy's thought in her mind, moving on to her own. "'Cause I can uh...ya know..just...when are you gonna be back? Do you know?" She wondered, still having no clue why Buffy was really there in the first place.   
  
"I don't know Will, I guess we're just gonna take it day by day and see wh--I gotta go...Talk to you later?"   
  
"Okay...see you soon Buffy. Be careful?" Willow worried about her sometimes. Sure she was all slayer strength-y..but she still worried about her. Buffy had been through alot lately...   
  
"Okay, see ya Will. Go back to sleep. I'll call you later and see how things are going."  
  
Willow nodded her agreement as she heard her hang up, doing the same. Looking back at the clock she   
layed back in the bed, still having a while to sleep. She'd work things out later.

**The summer sun sank behind the horizon, the night growing colder as time went on**. Walking through  
the streets to the Bronze, Willow wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly finding herself really wishing  
she had brought a coat with her. It was the summer, was the heat really supposed to drop that quickly?  
She sighed. It's Sunnydale, home of the big brewing weirdness. Sure why not...  
  
"You shouldn't scream like that. It's not polite. Must you stare at me like that? Now now...go away...  
shoo...mummy wouldn't abide by that...." She paused, noticing Willow walk by, tilting her head to the side a bit, intrigued. "You. I know you. What are you doing here? You shouldn't be here. It's not your place. You were a bad bad girl. Mummy can't stand to look at your face any longer.." A girl stood at the side of the road, saying these things as if her life depended on it. Saying them with so much belief and emotion. What did she mean? Should she help her?  
  
Willow frowned, still walking down the path towards the Bronze, almost frightened that the girl possibly  
could be hurtful. You had no idea what was behind that seemingly innocent exterior...Sunnydale..remember?  
She walked for a bit longer, her conscience getting the better of her. She turned around quickly, walking   
over to the small girl.   
  
"You okay? Do you need any help?" Willow asked, too concerned for her to not at least offer some kind   
of help.  
  
"Your the bad girl. You killed that man. You tried to kill everyone." The girl had such a seriousness in  
her eyes, glaring at Willow, her eyes burning through her.  
  
"I...what? Sweetie do you need me to find your parents...or...may--"  
  
"Be quiet. Silly girl...you can't help me! You can't even help yourself. You disgust me. Nothing more than  
a lowly mortal...you will never amount to anything to anyone...and you have yourself to blame..." Her eyes  
changed color, staring at her through black penetrating ones.   
  
"I...I...you um..." She had no idea what to do. Still she was a child, she couldn't hurt her...or could she? Moments like these when you really need a Buffy around. Looking around for a safe escape, she slowly walked back, trying to not anger the girl any more than she had.  
  
"Trying to get away? Go! You are of no use to me...remember girl....it's you that will betray. You that will hurt  
anyone you loved. You have and you will again, there's nothing you can do. You've been a bad. Bad. Girl."  
Then walking back slowly, fading into nothing the girl was gone, without a trace of her ever existing.  
  
Willow stared a bit longer, not really understanding the meaning of the girl's words. Going to hurt her   
friends? Betraying? She began walking again, the thoughts playing in her mind over and over. She could  
have just been feeding her meaningless lines, or it could be something more. What if what she said was true?  
What if she was going to hurt them all? What if she was going to try and kill everyone? She couldn't   
quite wrap her mind around it. Hurting them was the last thing she wanted to do...  
  
**Willow sat at the scoobies usual table, reading through various books, trying to get in as much spell studying time as possible.** Buffy was still in LA, the rest left behind, to only wonder what could be going on. She worried for Buffy, and everyone else in LA, she could feel something was going to happen, but didn't know what.  
  
Looking up from her book, taking in what was going on around her, she let her eyes wander to a man sitting by himself, watching the band as if they were paint...and they were drying...slowly. Why did he seem so familiar? She shrugged off the feeling, though maybe not her best judgment, thinking it may have just been nerves. She knew she had never met him, so why the familiarity?  
  
'That much green can not be good for a person..' She thought, returning her gaze back to her book.  
  
Flipping through one after the other, trying to find some certain things. She still had to renew that protection spell for Buffy, even if she wasn't there...and hey, it wasn't gonna cast itself. Right in the middle of mumbling through her spell, she heard the clonking of heels getting closer, immediately identifying it as Cordelia. No one could be so annoying and stuck up, just from the sound their shoes made.  
  
She readied herself for whatever insult Cordelia was no doubt going to throw in her face, trying to get her to recognize her insignificance. 'I'm not insignificant...' she thought, 'I contribute alot..' she resolved, nodding to herself.  
  
Finally hearing Cordelia's voice, she looked up to her, taking in what she was saying. Why did everything she say have to make you feel so inferior? Willow sighed, 'Superiority complex much?' she thought, her gaze still locked on Cordelia's yapping face.  
  
"Look..I didn't come here to insult you..well yeah..'cause that's what I do..I just want you to tell Xander that I need to talk to him.." Cordelia sighed,resting her hand on her hip, giving Willow a 'holier than thou' look. "Oh and if you don't deliver my message I will be inclined to make your life wo--more worse." Smirking, she walked out of the bronze, grabbing a boys hand that had been at her own table, yanking him out with her.  
  
Willow watched as Cordy walked away, sighing, looking back to her book, still trying to find the right spell. She really did need to get these archived on her laptop, it'd be so much easier. Install an accessible search engine, find the spell she needed quickly...  
  
She flipped another page, seeing a folded piece of paper stuck in the book, quickly ending her mental rant, as she took it out and unfolded it. It was writing in a different language, so she'd have to wait till later to find out what it said..but..even better thing to wonder about..who put it in there?  
  
She sighed sticking the paper back in the book. She'd ask Giles about it later.  
  
Beginning to pack her things into her bag, she took one more look at the mysterious man. Well...demon. He seemed so nice...and still so familiar. Shrugging it off again, she finished loading her things into the bag, and slid off the chair, making her way to the back door of the Bronze. Many questions still circling around in her head, asking themselves over and over. Still terribly worried something was gonna happen at LA.  
  
**Finally getting home she ran up to her room setting her bag of stuff on the bed, grabbing another out of the closet.** LA was gonna get a witchy visit. She wanted to see how Buffy was, plus she wanted to see everyone again. About 45 minutes later she was out the door , a note left for anyone that happened to come by while she was gone, and on her way to find a bus headed to LA.  
  
Pulling her coat on, she walked through the cold streets, looking around her, taking in the silence. Always was a pretty quiet town during the nighttime. They knew the dangers of going out in Sunnydale, when the sun was less than all bright and shiny. Reaching the Bus Depot she sat down on one of the benches, waiting the arrival of the next bus to LA.  
  
She sighed, glancing down at her watch for what seemed like the millionth time, just as a bus finally arrived in front of her. Smiling faintly, she grabbed her bags, getting off the bench, and stepping up the stairs of the bus, giving her money to the driver. As he closed the bus doors and began to drive again, Willow looked around the empty bus. Hmmm where to sit? Ooo the choices..Glancing around the mus again, she felt so lonely, as she had for some time now.  
  
Deciding on sitting towards the front, maybe to strike up some kind of awkward silence-y kind of conversation, she set her bags down once again, getting comfortable.  
  
**She ran, still crying, after Oz, begging him to stay.** Begging him not to leave her. Not again. She couldn't take it, knowing what she had lost. Falling to her knees, wiping the tears away, only for her face to be flooded with more, seconds after. She looked up at him with an innocent, helpless look.  
  
"Please? Please don't leave me?"  
  
He took one look at her and began to walk away again. Looking as if he didn't care at all. Sure, he was short a few facial expressions, but it was a cold look. It chilled her in ways she didn't know she could feel.  
  
"I love you..." She whispered knowing he didn't hear, laying there, unable to get up. Watching her love just walk away from her.  
  
She looked back down at her hands...blood covered them. It began to form letters...'You did it. It's your fault. You killed him.'  
  
Shaking her head violently, she tried to get rid of the thought, deep down she knew wasn't true. Or was it? Was it her fault he was gone? Her fault he had left her all those months before? She looked back up, he kept walking away, but wasn't getting anywhere.  
  
Tilting her head to the side she watched, not really understanding what was going on. Finally able to stand, she leaned against the white wall, holding herself up, watching from a close distance, as the love of her life tried so hard to get away from her.  
  
Tears still streaming steadily down her cheeks, all she could do is watch. And to cry at what she was losing...over and over again...As she stared, someone came walking behind Oz, following him with deep black eyes. It was her. She watched as Willow herself followed him, holding a knife close.  
  
Following for what seemed like hours, a content look on her face. Just waiting to kill him. Kill him just once more, be rid of him again. Suddenly jabbing the knife into his back, she grinned a more that evil grin, as he screamed in pain. Willow watched in horror as her own likeness killed her beloved. Again. Letting out a cry, begging with herself to stop. Stop doing this. His body dropped to the ground...just as--  
  
**"Please..!"** Suddenly jolted out of her dream she sat up, breathing somewhat heavily, looking around her taking in her surroundings. Right. The bus. LA...  
  
"You woke up at a great time darlin', we're almost there. But eh, if ya don't mind me askin...you alright? Seemed kind of..emotional over there..." The driver asked, peeking at her before returning his gaze to the road.  
  
She looked around quickly, trying to wipe the images out of her mind, that had been burning themselves in there, almost every night since he left. "Ummm...yeah...I'm fine...it's...we're almost there right?"  
  
He nodded, stopping at a traffic light. "We'll be there real soon hun. Do me a favor wontcha? Get some rest when you get to where it is you want to go? You seem beat...if..you don't mind my saying so..." He added, starting to drive again.  
  
"Oh..umm...yeah...thanks.." she sighed looking out the window, noticing the LA landmarks, knowing now she was very near Wolfram and Hart. "Well...this should be fun..."  
  
**Well there it is, tell me what you think. And I'd just adore ideas? Pleeeeease? lol I'll beg. Thanks so much for reading..now...I beg of you...REVIEW!? again I whine...Pleeeeeeease...? GOo! Right now! Why are you still reading this!? You havn't gone yet. Well go...and yet you read on. Lets go buddy...REVIEW TIME!   
  
lol Thanks so much again. Hopefully get another chapter up soon. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  
  
Munkie **


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